Now that my husband and I have stopped trying to have a baby of our own lots of other questions have come in to play... What about adoption? Fostering?  Could I feel the depth of feelings for a child that was not my own? I shouldn't be asking these questions really as I already have stepchildren in my life but adoption is different, all my stepchildren I have a connection with, the other parent so you do know something of where they come from but with an adopted child you probably wouldn't know anything.
Summer Olivia and her Mummy Samantha
Recently a dear friend gave me the highest honour I can think of by asking me to be godmother to her child,  I didn't have a single moment of hesitation, it's funny but throughout her pregnancy this friend had had a horrible time, being there for her was by turns a heartbreaking experience and sometimes frightening and sometimes I just felt angry for her with the things she was having to go through. So little Summer Olivia was already named "Tough Cookie" before she even arrived, such was her determination to survive. 
But the moment I got to hold Summer for the first time I just felt it, that overwhelming rush of love, that desire to protect and care for... there were no doubts, no questions, just love. 

I enjoyed every moment of my visit to Sam and Summer, even the poopy nappies, the baby sick and the crying and I can't wait to go back and spend more time with my friend and my gorgeous goddaughter. 

But the one question the visit did answer for me was that yes. I could love a child that was not my own. That just opens up a whole new parcel of questions though?  Would I be prepared to give up some of my hobbies?  Where would we put another child? Could we even afford it?  We're on the verge of being able to go on holiday as a couple, could I forego that?

But then, thinking about it, not going there would mean more free time to zip up motorways unencumbered to spend time with Sam and Summer.


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