400 Knitting Stitches

Love this book! Whether you are a completely new knitter of a very experienced one this book is invaluable.

For the newbie knitter there are pages and pages of how to's to get you started and teach you how to knit from scratch and for the experienced knitter instructions on 400 different knitting stitches including both written description and charts.

Why is this handy?  Well let's say you've been knitting for some time and you want to have a go at designing your own patterns this book describes the stitches per repeat which makes it so much easier to develop a pattern.

Using this book you could make endless afghans of patchworked patterns.  Definitely worth buying and having in your library, you will refer to it often.

The Cavalier Queen

Loved this book! I was completely enthralled by the characterisations and the plot.  Obviously as it is a novel based on real people and historical events, if you know your history of the Englsh Monarchy then you already know how it ends but somehow because of the fantastic writing weaving a perfectly believable lifelong lovestory into what is already there I found myself hoping for different outcomes, even though logically I already knew what I hoped for was already impossible by dint of time.

For me the measure of how much I enjoy a book is how much of my sleep am I prepared to forego (I was a sloth in a previous incarnation) in order to read it and with book I can genuinely say, I lost significant z's.

Whilst much is made of King Charles I and his beheading the story of his French Princess Bride is glossed over in history lessons, all I remember being taught about Henriette Marie of France was that she tried to turn England back to Catholicism and that she was the reason in the end that Charles ended up sans noggin.

But perhaps this was not so, perhaps in the mists of time and he chroniclers of the time just painted that picture for convenience... After all histories are not written by the dead, are they? 

Anyway, I liked the version of Henriette Marie I was introduced to in this story, beautiful, full of life and determination and with a backbone maybe not of steel, maybe willow, bending and swaying with circumstance, bending but never breaking and always returning upright when the storm has passed. This woman was more than a Queen she was a builder, a creator, a woman of vision.

Fiona Mountain is a wonderful writer, her descriptive style draws you in and really paints a picture that I was seeing in my mind as I read. 

Fifty Shade of Grey

Ok to start with, originally I didn't actually buy this book, my husband thought it would be a good wheeze to put it on my ipad, mostly I think for embarassment factor, so I thought 'oh no miladdo I am not playing that, I shall read this book and then laugh at you'.

Sadly, the joke remained on me! I had seen that this book had been spotted being read by umpteen celebs and been hyped as if it was the next instalment to the karma sutra... trust me on this... neither is the case. 

So what do we have?  Well ostensibly the story (thin though it is) is about a very damaged man who meets an incredibly innocent young woman (a virgin no less... don't get many of them to the pound these days) and their ensuing "romance" if you can call it that.  I know I wouldn't.

What was good about the book?  Depends on your point of view really, if you want a story, good writing, a decent plot, then you will be sadly disappointed. If you just want copious amounts of repetitive sex then rock on this is the book for you!

My main quibble is the author's absolute lack of descriptive vocabulary, she only seems to know one word for sexy... "HOT" that's pretty much it.   I was a bit shocked that given there are such things as online thesaurus's she didn't take the time to bother to try and find some alternative options to that one word. For shame!

Sooo let's take a moment to have a little go at that shall we?  If you pop the word HOT into a thesaurus you get 

baking, blazing, blistering, boiling, broiling, burning, calescent, close, decalescent, febrile, fevered, feverish, feverous, fiery, flaming, heated, humid, igneous, incandescent, like an oven, on fire, ovenlike, parching, piping, recalescent, red*, roasting, scalding, scorching, searing, sizzling, smoking, steaming, stuffy, sultry, summery, sweltering, sweltry, thermogenic, torrid, tropic, tropical, very warm, warm, white*

Now that's not bad is it... whilst the word 'hot' really is about temperature there are quite a few words there that could quite easily apply to the sexiness of an individual or a situation. no?

Now let's put in the word "SEXY" and see what you get. 

arousing, come-hither, cuddly, flirtatious, hot*, inviting, kissable, libidinous, mature, provocative, provoking, racy, risqué, seductive, sensual, sensuous, slinky, spicy*, steamy, suggestive, titillating, voluptuous

adorable, alluring, beautiful*, charming, covetable, enticing, fascinating, fetching

That took me all of 30 seconds... so seriously this author couldn't take 30 seconds to come up with another word for HOT????

And if you get really really adventurous and pop in the word 'ATTRACTIVE' you get

adorable, agreeable, alluring, beautiful, beckoning, bewitching, captivating, charming, comely, enchanting, engaging, enthralling, enticing, fair, fascinating, fetching, glamorous, good-looking, gorgeous, handsome, hunky, interesting, inviting, looker, lovely, luring, magnetic, mesmeric, pleasant, pleasing, prepossessing, pretty, provocative, seductive, stunning, taking, tantalizing, teasing, tempting, winning, winsome

So there you have it... basically the writer of this book was just lazy. Hmmm should I pop that into the thesaurus... yeah let's just for fun.

apathetic, asleep on the job, careless, comatose, dallying, dilatory, drowsy, dull, flagging, idle, inattentive, indifferent, indolent, inert, lackadaisical, laggard, lagging, languid, languorous, lethargic, lifeless, loafing, neglectful, out of it, passive, procrastinating, remiss, shiftless, slack, sleepy, slothful, slow, slow-moving, snoozy, somnolent, supine, tardy, tired, torpid, trifling, unconcerned, unenergetic, unindustrious, unpersevering, unready, weary

Well there you go... another 30 seconds of my life I won't get back

My other issue with this book was the actual characters... the girl is wetter than a weekend in Ireland, she has all the spine of... well... an amoeba and the all hailed Christian Grey?  Seriously I would kick that twat so hard in his privates that sex would be the last thing on his mind, he would be too busy trying to breathe! 

What the devil was this writer trying to do, put back women's sexuality by about 100 years?  Not only was this book a terrible representation of BDSM and sex play in general but it also advocates stalking, bullying and other generally undesirable attributes in a relationship.  It's one thing to be manly and take control in a relationship, but come on... when does stalking ever become acceptable?

The Queen of Subtleties

I bought this book on a whim when I was browsing my way through Amazon, I love anything about Tudor history, not entirely sure why, I mean it's not as if the story changes is it?  We all know what happened!  But I hadn't read anything by this author but I thought go for it.

I have been really surprised by how much I enjoyed this story, it follows the very familiar story of Anne Boleyn and her relationship with Henry but it's a dual story as it also follows that of a fictional character, Lucy Cornwallis, a talented subtleties maker.   

I bet you are wondering what a subtlety is... I know I was.  A subtlety was almost a sculpture made of sugar, these days I imagine that we would call these "deserts", marchpane,  sugared fruits, cake and spun sugar was used to create fantastical decorative centerpieces that were very popular in Court and fine houses. 

I really liked the jumping style of the book from Anne's story to Lucy's and back again and how that their lives cross paths and mesh. 

Definitely worth a read.

Book Review: Essential Baby ~ Debbie Bliss

This book is so handy, specially for those new to knitting, there is a great collection of quite simply designs that are easy to follow and make up. In particular the crossover vest which doesn't have any buttonholes to do... always a pain for a new knitter to get to grips with and the beanbag and blanket designs are straight forward and a great introduction to knitting where you end up with a nice end product and not just a ropey square that ends up going in the bin... yeah I did that... A lot at the start.

Debbie Bliss is brilliant at making sure that there are plenty of instructions in her books on how to do the stitches so even if you are a complete novice you wouldn't have any trouble getting started.

Virgin Earth - Philippa Gregory

This book is part of a two parter really, even though the story kind of stands on its own, it is the follow up to Earthly Joys. Where the first book follows the John Tradescant the Older in his career as gardener to the King, this book follows his son who inherits his father collection of plants and also his love and skill with the.  John however gets to travel to America in search of new plants where he meets native Indians and falls in love with their lifestyle. 

 As usual Philippa Gregory writes with style and grace, and I found myself falling into the story and living the adventure.

Bridal Jewellery ~ Clare Yarwood-White

This is a really really useful little book, it's not huge , only 96 pages but well worth its size for the amount of information packed into it. I was expecting a book of designs but whilst there are some designs to get you thinking and trying ideas out there is also a wealth of information about gems, names, settings, design consideration, matching accessories and how to work with a bride during a very stressful time... and a whole section on building a bridal jewellery business, including market research, business planning and pricing.  

So if you are thinking along those lines this book is well worth getting.

Book Review : The Land Of The Painted Caves

Have you ever been gagging for a book to come out?  I have and this was the book, I have read all the previous 5 in the series and loved them, loved them so much I had re-read them several times and I had always hoped that this one would come soon, pleeeeease let it come soon. I think you are getting the drift on my desire to read this book.

Anyway finally the book comes out and like an avid child in a sweetshop I rushed to buy it... I even bought it in hardback because (a) I knew I would have to wait for the paperback and I'm not good at waiting and (b) I thought oh I know I will read it more than once so I can justify the hardback price.

So I save this to take with me on holiday and settle down in the sun for a good read... after about 100 pages though I was just about ready to cry.... with disappointment! 

After waiting all this time for this book I couldn't believe just how bad the book was.  I mean the characters are the same, the same people I felt I had been getting to know throughout the previous 5 books, so my attachment to them should have been the same.  It wasn't a lack of emotional investment or interest on my part.   It was just the book... I don't know what happened to Jean M Auel but this book just didn't have the same oompf that the others did.  It was like she just ran out of steam, the book was so repetitive.. by page 100 I was literally screaming "ok already I know people find her freaking accent unusual... shut up about it!!!"

But I am stubborn and as it was the ONLY book I brought on holiday with me I felt compelled to finish it.  I did... barely... almost chucked it in the sea a couple of times and the disappointment I felt at the repetition in the book wasn't salved by a strong ending... no it was the wishy washiest ending to an epic story I have ever seen.  Now this could have been because I was already so annoyed with the disappointment of the body of the story or it could just have been because the ending was rubbish either way that's several hours of my life I won't be getting back. The last time I saw a plot this wet it involved Bobby Ewing being in a shower and it all being a dream in Dallas.

And to top it off, I almost left the book in the hotel room, I was that disgusted with it, but no, I thought I will take it home and stick it on the bookshelf only to get charged for excess baggage on the way home... if I had left the book behind that would have been a chunk of weight we didn't end up paying for.

The editors of this books should have gone through it with a big red pen and marked "repetitious" on every page.

Book Review: My Sisters Keeper

I read this book some time ago, can't remember why I didn't do a review on it,  actually I think I do remember... this book really affected me, it made me very sad when I read it,  it also made me question myself, by the time I read this I already had two sons and so a lot of the issues raised by the book were ones that I really had to think about, what would I do? Would I sacrifice the happiness of one child to save another?  Would I go and have a baby with the sole purpose of trying to save the other?  For me, given the difficulty I actually have getting and staying pregnant its a bit of a non starter question, but ethically it's a conundrum, one I am glad to say I haven't had to face, but I would hope that the answer would be no... I wouldn't devalue one of my children's lives to save the other.  I wouldn't make that child do things he or she didn't want to do without their consent or even over their objections to save the other.   I wouldn't put that child in the position where he or she had to say "no" and get a lawyer to try and get me to realise that their needs were being ignored and made them feel like a spare parts factory.

I do enjoy Jodi Picoult books, although saying the word "enjoy" about these books feels so wrong.  She tackles subjects that are so difficult, asks questions that no one wants to ask and does it in a way that doesnt turn it into a farce, she does it with sensitivity and a depth of thought and feeling that you can't help but disappear into what is an amazing read.  

This story reduced me to tears at several points, pathetic... but true. 

Book Review: Dreaming The Eagle

I've always been fascinated by strong female characters, specially historical ones, obviously all we can ever do is look back, extrapolate from whatever historical evidence is available and conjure up a story from that, unfortunately time travel isn't an option... how cool it would be if it was!  In modern times women's role in society is back up on the rise after several centuries of being denied a role, being held back by the male dominated elite... it's almost hard to believe that once upon a time women were warriors, seers, religious leaders and played important parts in the history of humankind. 

Boudica or Boadicea as she is often known as is a character that has been of great interest to me, so Manda Scott's series of books on Boudica were a definite "must read" for me and I wasn't disappointed. Although this is historical fiction, it is believable historical fiction.  

Manda Scott managed to bring to life a largely unknown portion of English history, there is very little written evidence from this time, just at the point that England is invaded by the Romans and the turning point in history from the British Isles, if the Romans hadn't come how different a country could this have been. Boudica is the Queen of the Iceni, one of the many tribes that occupied England and leads a revolt against the Romans. 

This book is one of a series and I would highly recommend the whole series. If you like series style stories in the vein of "Clan of the Cave Bear" or "Lord of the Rings" then this series will have you enthralled. 

 

Book Review - The Happy Hooker

The Happy Hooker is one of the Stitch and Bitch Crochet collection of books.  I would highly recommend this book for even the newest person to the craft of crochet with 40 original crochet patterns, all very modern and exciting including something for everyone.  My personal favourites amongst the patterns being Sweetpea Shawl, Spring in Winter a two piece hat and scarf set that is just divine, Granny's No Square, a really funky bag and Yeehaw Lady, a crocheted cowboy hat which is just the cutest thing ever!  And if the Fluffy Bunny Slippers don't make you go "awwww I want those!"  Well then.... to be frank, you need help.

What I love about this book particularly is the excellent diagrams and clear instructions on stitches, how to hold the crochet needle, equipment to use, the library of stitches .... well just about everything really, the list goes on and on.   All I can say is if you want to learn to crochet and you want to learn by producing modern up to date funky things that fit into fashion today... get this book!

Book Review - Simple Knits for Children

An excellent knitting book for the inexperienced knitter,  the book contains 20 handknit projects all very simple in design and using very basic techniques on the whole.

You will find some slightly more challenging patterning but mostly it is in the form of embellishments and patterns.  But there are enough very simple patterns to get a new knitter started.  by the time you've completed some of the really simple ones you will feel confident enough to tackle adding the embellishments.

All of these Erika Knight designs are knitted in natural fibres, cotton yarns, bamboo, baby cashmerino.  You can substitute these for ordinary acryllic 4ply and double knitting but you need to be aware of the changes that will make in tension. So make sure you do swatch tests first.

Book Review - A Respectable Trade

I can't tell you how much I loved this book.   As someone descended on my father's side from the African slave trade this book really spoke to me. 

One of the things I liked was that although Ms Gregory doesn't gloss over the brutality that the slaves endured nor does she belittle it or trivialise it a the same time she doesn't dwell on it, she doesn't leave you believing that the violence and cruelty are all that the slaves are about, yes they suffered, yes they were mistreated but the book doesn't leave you with the impression of broken destroyed people who had nothing at the end of it. As people they aren't defined by the ill treatment.

In fact the book leaves you with a sense of just how strong and determined the slaves were, determined to survive, to move on and to build a new life. And for me that was a positive thing. 

I also liked that Ms Gregory shines the light on the slave trade in England, that is very often totally ignored and the concentration is usually on America,  but England did have a slave trade and made a lot of money from it before Wilberforce campaigned against it.

The gentle love story between the frustrated Francis Scott and Mahuru was I imagine supposed to be the focus of the book but I suppose because of my own history and leanings I didn't find myself getting too absorbed in it.  In some ways it was refreshing as the love story is usually supposed to be between the man and the slave girl.

I did also like the fact that the book reveals a snippet of information that a lot of English people don't realise in that people of black African origin remained in the UK after slavery was abolished and built lives, married into the population and had children here long long before the emigrations from the West Indies of the 1950's and '60's

Book Review - The Other Queen

I struggled with this book right from the very start,  I think for starters that my view was coloured by my own historical knowledge of Mary Queen of Scots.   It could also be the whole rampant Catholic thing,  I'm not a believer and therefore struggle with the concept of religious fervour.

Philippa Gregory as a writer does her best and you can't fault her historical knowledge, it's all there from Mary's early days to her disastrous return to Scotland and her imprisonment by her cousin Elizabeth all the way to her final execution.

I can't say I would recommend this book as a "must read" more of an ok if you have a few spare days you want to fritter away then fine go for it.

So what's wrong with it?  Well mostly its a history problem if anything, Mary isn't the most likeable character in history and she wouldn't have actually made a good Queen, from historical references she was a weak, vain woman who made some rather large mistakes but Ms Gregory doesn't seem to be able to make up her mind in her writing if she likes Mary at all or not either.

I also found the Earl of Shrewsbury to be a bit of a wimpy character, he slopes about mooning after Mary which seeing as he was a married man and his wife was also Mary's Gaoler made me cringe a bit in embarassment for the poor woman married to him. 

Not the best Philippa Gregory Book I've read to be honest.

Book Review - Cell

Stephen King is really the writer of my youth,  he is one of the authors that whet my appetite for the written word, I started reading King novels in my early teens and when I say early  I mean 11.  I was happily working my way through Jubilee Gardens Library and had long grown out of the children's section and the librarians seeing my love of the written word very kindly allowed me into the adult section and I read voraciously.  I took home my quota of 10 books every 3 or 4 days and I read them all.  No wonder my eyesight is shot!

I think "The Stand" was my first King novel and I just fell in love, I fell in love with his writing style, with the depth of his ideas and found through his writing a love of the science fiction and horror genre's.  When asked what it is about King's work that I love so much I have to say it's the fact that what he writes about in books like The Stand and in this one Cell is the possibility that it could happen... and that in itself is the most terrifying idea of all.

The Cell is based on the premise that a virus could be transmitted by cell phone... Think about it... just for a moment, how many people have a mobile phone?  Millions? Billions?  What if an event happened that every one of those phones rang at the same moment and transmitted a virus and within hours everyone who received those calls either becomes insane or just dies?

Can you imagine that?  Can you conceive of such a thing?  

Well Stephen King does and he does it so well, so believably that it scared the living daylights out of me.   I read this book cover to cover in a matter of about 3 days and at nigh on 400 pages that's no small feat. I mean one does have to eat and feed other people.

But to me the overriding element I took away from this story was "love", the love of a man for his child, what he would go through, how far he would travel how hard he would search to find and save his son. 

This book is a must read although having said that you may never feel as comfortable answering your mobile phone again if you do read it.

Righteous Rant

I love books, anyone that has been following my blogs will know that one of my main loves in life is books. I love the way they feel, I love to be able to run my fingers over the pages and the tactile sensation of the paper. I love the slight roughness of the pages of a novel and I glory in the sensual quality of the pages in craft books, all glossy and smooth, it's a delicious sensation. I love the way a new book smells and that crinkling sound of the paper when I  turn the pages in a novel or the slight cracking sound as the spine gives way when you first open it. I adore the shushing sound of glossy pages as they give way for the first time as they slightly stick together when you pull them apart. The weight of a book in my hands is a special thing, it has substance and solidity that's so real.

So for me deciding to go paperless is a big thing,  giving up those delights in favour of being more "eco-efficient" feels like a big sacrifice. So having bought an iPad and installed the kindle apps I thought ok this is the time to bite the bullet and "do the right thing".

So imagine my annoyance when surfing through Amazon and the Apple store I find that going eco friendly is actually more expensive than continuing to purchase books the traditional way!!!! 

I don't actually get it,  it does not compute in my head.  I will, by buying digitally, no longer have a beloved book in my hands,  I will not be using paper, not killing a tree, not contributing to the carbon footprint of the "book" so why then should I pay more for the privilege?

Perhaps I was foolish in thinking that it would be cheaper to buy digitally as it has been in the case of music but it's not. At least with a traditional book it is possible to share the book or sell it on or give it away... This isn't possible with digital versions.   

So for the time being I think as eco unfriendly as it may be I will stick to buying my books in paper format. I don't see why I should give up the pleasure I find in real books if there isn't even the incentive of saving money. 

Rant concluded :)

Book Review - Daughters of Fire

Barbara Erskine is another favourite author of mine, I have enjoyed all of her books that I've read to date,  I like the way she managed to meld the modern day in with her historical fiction, time slipping between the two time periods.

In Daughters of Fire, Ms Erskine tells the story of two women, Cartimandua the young woman destined to lead her tribe, the Brigantes in Britain at the time of the Roman invasion of the islands and Viv Lloyd Rees who in the modern day is studying the history of Cartimandua and the Brigantes.

I did like the twists the story took and also the almost magical element that Ms Erskine injects with Viv having more and more detailed visions of Cartimandua and her life.   The premises melds the two worlds almost into one and it does feel like Viv is taking part in Cartimandua's life and world.

I did find myself taking sides with both Viv and Cartimandua, they're characters are so strong and vivid I couldn't seem to help myself but it did leave me feeling a loathing with some of the people who were trying to cause problems for them.

All in all it was a great book, thoroughly enjoyable and well worth a read.  It's definitely not Tolstoi but if you're like me and find him quite hard work to read then it's a bonus!

Book Review - The Red Queen by Philippa Gregory

I was really looking forward to reading this book,   I finished The White Queen, the previous book to this one and had enjoyed it, even if I did find some of the airy fairy witchcraftery a bit repetitive... but I am a Philippa Gregory fan on the whole, the relaxed historical fiction usually has enough historical fact and attention to detail as well as just enough fiction to make it enjoyable.

But I have to admit The Red Queen was a struggle for me,  it's not Ms Gregory's writing... or maybe it is but I found the main character Margaret Beaufort really hard work.  The story follows exactly the same events of history as The White Queen but from the other side of the battle and that part of the idea was really interesting, seeing just how "right" both sides think they were and how actually they both claimed to be fighting for exactly the same thing and both claiming that it was "gods will".  

For me the big question there is... who is to say what exactly God's will is and how do they know???    It must be a very comforting to be so convinced that you know what God wants.

The book follows Margaret Beauforts life from her earliest childhood where from the very earliest time in her life it is made clear to her that she is merely a pawn in the political games of others and that she in and of herself is of very little value apart from her station in life and her only task is to produce a male heir for the House of Lancaster. 

I don't suppose I should be surprised that this unwanted unloved child found her only comfort in her religious beliefs and being that pious should have made her likeable... but it doesn't. Throughout the book I found her bitter and jealous, vengeful and filled with venal pride, all of which she tries to say is God's will.  She spends most of her life on her knees praying and yet doesn't seem to recognise that the way she behaves and her vengence and jealousy are sinful! There were times that I found myself flinging the book down and muttering "what a hypocrite".

By the end of the book I actively disliked the woman, which is a shame as I didn't want to.  But in some ways that's not a bad thing, the whole point of a story is to get across the characters that are being written about and in this case Ms Gregory nailed it if what she intended was to make Margaret Beaufort out to be an angry, bitter, jealous, spite filled woman whose whole life was an endless stream of disappointments.

Good Read - Kill For Me by Karen Rose

After finishing the last Karen Rose novel - Scream For Me, I just could not wait to get into this one,  it had been sitting beside my bed gently taunting me, whispering ... read me... read me... you know you want to... do it... give in.  So I did!  Am I ever weak when it comes to a good book.

Considering that in a good killer thriller the writer has to have all the characters in the novel from very early on, Karen Rose really does do a good job of keeping you guessing.   I mean it's really not fair on the reader to have them get to the last chapter and then spring the murderer on them as being someone that hasn't been involved in the plot from the beginning... that's just cheating!  So Karen doesn't cheat!  The buy guys are there right from the beginning right under your nose but you just don't know it... that's how cleverly written the book is.

One thing I didn't like was how many law enforcement officers bit the dust, as the body count racks up quite a few of them are the good guys.  Now I am not an idiot, this is how life works, the good guys don't always come out in one piece but it still made me a bit sad nevertheless.

The romance in this book was a little bit more muted, it definitely took second place to the killer thriller part but it was definitely a page turner and the plot twists just kept mounting.

I read the book in 3 days... bit of a clue as to how gripping it is.

Good Read - Scream For Me by Karen Rose

I bought this book because it was cheap and the write up intrigued me, I do like crime novels and this one was written up as a crime romance. Hmmmmm thought I, might be a bit different. I'm a huge fan of the Bones series and it seemed to me that this book might be along the same lines.  

Oh boy was I ever suprised when I started reading this book, after reading the prologue and the first chapter I found it impossible to put the book down.   I didn't know that the books was actually the 2nd book in what amounts to a trilogy, so I have kind of started this series in the middle, but I can definitely say I will be reading "Die For Me" and I don't think having read the 2nd book first will spoil that for me.  As this story really does have it's own legs to stand on.

The story is really very very complex and Karen really does keep you hanging until the very end of the book with lots of surprises along the way, just when you think you've got it all sussed out, bang you get smacked between the eyes by another twist that just  throws you completely off track and back at square one having to re-assess all your assumptions again. 

I found the main characters predicaments really quite sad and I found myself rooting for them both having had such a dreadful early life it's actually quite surprising that they are as grounded and sane as they are!  

It does have to be said that a lot of the events in the book, although essential to the story, are really quite graphic and if this book ever gets made into a film it will be a pretty heavy duty movie.

If you are a fan of crime novels, crime romance then definitely give this book a whirl, I read it in 3 days as I just could not put it down and it was a rollercoaster ride that I loved every second of, even the hard bits, even the sad bits.