Showing posts with label Fiction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fiction. Show all posts
Now I have always been a fan of erotic fiction.  Well written erotic fiction that is, not your 50 Shades of Badly Written Crap, properly structured, grammatically correct erotic fiction, stuff that titilates the senses as well as entertains the mind.  Strangely bad writing is an utter turn off for me.

I have always thought that written erotica was a female province, women are much more "in their heds" when it comes to sex, we seem to be much slower to get the engine running and we take our time getting to where we need to go, whereas men, it seems, only need a flash of breast and they are off! No need for a starter pistol there.

I guess the one good thing about 50 Shades of Tripe is that it has mainstreamed erotic fiction, I am giggling at his point as I keep mistyping fiction and it's coming out as fuction.... Freudian slip perchance? Given the blog topic it's kind of apt.

Anyway, back on point, by having a triology of erotic fiction novels hit the shelves of Tesco has really opened the door for so any other, better, books to come out from under the counter, I can well imagine Amazon are seeing a surge in sales in this genre as well.

Well for those of you that have been switched on to Erotic Fiction let me suggest this book as your next foray.  On Demand is a collection of... shall we say "adventures" based in a hotel and written in the form of 'scenes' or short stories if you will.   It isn't a love story although there is love of many kinds to be found within the stories and all the scenes link together and have some central characters that you follow.  But the stories are very sexy, racy, risque but written in such a classy, mature way that no matter how depraved the story none of it reads as tacky.

Definitely worth a read and partners everywhere will enjoy the side effects from their ladies enjoying a little late night reading, even if does mean they get woken up at odd hours to deal with the consequences.
Ok to start with, originally I didn't actually buy this book, my husband thought it would be a good wheeze to put it on my ipad, mostly I think for embarassment factor, so I thought 'oh no miladdo I am not playing that, I shall read this book and then laugh at you'.

Sadly, the joke remained on me! I had seen that this book had been spotted being read by umpteen celebs and been hyped as if it was the next instalment to the karma sutra... trust me on this... neither is the case. 

So what do we have?  Well ostensibly the story (thin though it is) is about a very damaged man who meets an incredibly innocent young woman (a virgin no less... don't get many of them to the pound these days) and their ensuing "romance" if you can call it that.  I know I wouldn't.

What was good about the book?  Depends on your point of view really, if you want a story, good writing, a decent plot, then you will be sadly disappointed. If you just want copious amounts of repetitive sex then rock on this is the book for you!

My main quibble is the author's absolute lack of descriptive vocabulary, she only seems to know one word for sexy... "HOT" that's pretty much it.   I was a bit shocked that given there are such things as online thesaurus's she didn't take the time to bother to try and find some alternative options to that one word. For shame!

Sooo let's take a moment to have a little go at that shall we?  If you pop the word HOT into a thesaurus you get 
baking, blazing, blistering, boiling, broiling, burning, calescent, close, decalescent, febrile, fevered, feverish, feverous, fiery, flaming, heated, humid, igneous, incandescent, like an oven, on fire, ovenlike, parching, piping, recalescent, red*, roasting, scalding, scorching, searing, sizzling, smoking, steaming, stuffy, sultry, summery, sweltering, sweltry, thermogenic, torrid, tropic, tropical, very warm, warm, white

Now that's not bad is it... whilst the word 'hot' really is about temperature there are quite a few words there that could quite easily apply to the sexiness of an individual or a situation. no?

Now let's put in the word "SEXY" and see what you get. 

arousing, come-hither, cuddly, flirtatious, hot*, inviting, kissable, libidinous, mature, provocative, provoking, racy, risqué, seductive, sensual, sensuous, slinky, spicy*, steamy, suggestive, titillating, voluptuous
adorable, alluring, beautiful*, charming, covetable, enticing, fascinating, fetching

That took me all of 30 seconds... so seriously this author couldn't take 30 seconds to come up with another word for HOT????

And if you get really really adventurous and pop in the word 'ATTRACTIVE' you get

adorable, agreeable, alluring, beautiful, beckoning, bewitching, captivating, charming, comely, enchanting, engaging, enthralling, enticing, fair, fascinating, fetching, glamorous, good-looking, gorgeous, handsome, hunky, interesting, inviting, looker, lovely, luring, magnetic, mesmeric, pleasant, pleasing, prepossessing, pretty, provocative, seductive, stunning, taking, tantalizing, teasing, tempting, winning, winsome

So there you have it... basically the writer of this book was just lazy. Hmmm should I pop that into the thesaurus... yeah let's just for fun.


apathetic, asleep on the job, careless, comatose, dallying, dilatory, drowsy, dull, flagging, idle, inattentive, indifferent, indolent, inert, lackadaisical, laggard, lagging, languid, languorous, lethargic, lifeless, loafing, neglectful, out of it, passive, procrastinating, remiss, shiftless, slack, sleepy, slothful, slow, slow-moving, snoozy, somnolent, supine, tardy, tired, torpid, trifling, unconcerned, unenergetic, unindustrious, unpersevering, unready, weary

Well there you go... another 30 seconds of my life I won't get back

My other issue with this book was the actual characters... the girl is wetter than a weekend in Ireland, she has all the spine of... well... an amoeba and the all hailed Christian Grey?  Seriously I would kick that twat so hard in his privates that sex would be the last thing on his mind, he would be too busy trying to breathe! 

What the devil was this writer trying to do, put back women's sexuality by about 100 years?  Not only was this book a terrible representation of BDSM and sex play in general but it also advocates stalking, bullying and other generally undesirable attributes in a relationship.  It's one thing to be manly and take control in a relationship, but come on... when does stalking ever become acceptable?



I bought this book on a whim when I was browsing my way through Amazon, I love anything about Tudor history, not entirely sure why, I mean it's not as if the story changes is it?  We all know what happened!  But I hadn't read anything by this author but I thought go for it.

I have been really surprised by how much I enjoyed this story, it follows the very familiar story of Anne Boleyn and her relationship with Henry but it's a dual story as it also follows that of a fictional character, Lucy Cornwallis, a talented subtleties maker.   

I bet you are wondering what a subtlety is... I know I was.  A subtlety was almost a sculpture made of sugar, these days I imagine that we would call these "deserts", marchpane,  sugared fruits, cake and spun sugar was used to create fantastical decorative centerpieces that were very popular in Court and fine houses. 

I really liked the jumping style of the book from Anne's story to Lucy's and back again and how that their lives cross paths and mesh. 

Definitely worth a read.

I watch him pass by my window every day. In the mornings the light bounces off his blonde curls and they gleam in the light.  From my window I watch him pass, holding his briefcase in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. Sometimes he is talking on the phone.  I wonder what colour his eyes are? I suspect they are blue but the angle of my view is wrong and he really is too far away for me to see properly.  I would like his eyes  to be green, I dream that his eyes will be green, with flecks of gold, but that is a dream and I don't really know but I want to, I want to know so badly.   
In the evenings, when he passes by, his pace is slower and I can see the tired droop of his shoulders and the long slow stride of his walk. So different to first thing in the morning. I long to speak to him, to ask him his name, to ask him what he has been doing that has made him so tired.  But I don't have the courage to go out and speak to him,  I am afraid that he will not see me, he will look through me as though through a pane of glass, just like everyone else does.

I have been here for such a long time, in this house, it feels like forever, the passage of time has lost its meaning for me somewhere.  I was born in this house, I grew up here, it's always been my home, I've always loved it here.  I remember playing in the attic rooms and running up and down the stairs.  I remember bouncing my ball against the wall in the vestibule and running races in the garden with my sisters. My parents are gone, Elizabeth and Alice, my sisters, are gone. They have been gone a long time.  I was alone for a long time but now the house is full of people again, full of noise and colour but still, I feel invisible, I can't seem to communicate with them, they pass me on the stairs, I smile and hope they will stop and speak to me but I don't have the courage to break the silence. I open my mouth to speak, to introduce myself but they are already gone, rushing off to carry on with their lives.  For the longest time there has been no one in my world to talk to.

But now there is him, the blonde man, I wish I knew his name,  I want it to be James, in my dreams his name is James but I don't know.  I need to know who he is. If he was in my world I wouldn't be alone anymore, I could talk to him, I have so much to tell him and so much I want to share with him, but I have to meet him first. I have to find a way to meet him.

I resolve to go out and to say hello the next time he passes but when that time comes I cannot seem to leave the house to do it. My chance passes me by and I resolve to do it next time and again when the moment arrives I cannot seem to do it.  What is stopping me?  Am I afraid he will reject my attempt at contact or shyness or the fear that he will look through me and not see me or worse, he will see me and still walk on uninterested  in my attempts. Which is worse to be seen and ignored or not to be seen at all? 

I spend the evening in the garden beneath the cherry tree, it's my favourite place, I come here to think.  It's cool and peaceful here, the breeze whispers through the pink cherry blossom, it's almost musical. I remember when my father built the stone bench that I am sitting on, he carved it himself as a gift for my mother, I remember sitting on the counter in his workshop watching him as he chiseled carefully at the segments of marble, thinking how wonderful it was that my father, a man who usually was so formal, seemed perfectly at ease getting messy and covered with stone dust making something for my mother.  The bench forms two semi circles that fit around the the trunk of the tree, of course when my father first put it in place the tree was only slender, a slip of a thing, just as I was. Now the tree fills the circle and I marvel at how clever my father was to know how much space to leave to let the tree grow. 

The garden is quiet, the people that share the house with me now rarely seem to come into the garden.  The children do sometimes but now it is evening and the children will be getting ready for bed, so it is just me and the birds sharing the space. 

How I wish that I was sharing this quiet with James, my blonde man, how wonderful it would be to share this marble symbol dedicated to my father's love to my mother with him. For a moment I feel my loneliness wash over me like a cold wave and a moment suddenly feels like an eternity.