I went away a Mother and returned a GODmother

Now that my husband and I have stopped trying to have a baby of our own lots of other questions have come in to play... What about adoption? Fostering?  Could I feel the depth of feelings for a child that was not my own? I shouldn't be asking these questions really as I already have stepchildren in my life but adoption is different, all my stepchildren I have a connection with, the other parent so you do know something of where they come from but with an adopted child you probably wouldn't know anything.

 

Summer Olivia and her Mummy Samantha

Recently a dear friend gave me the highest honour I can think of by asking me to be godmother to her child,  I didn't have a single moment of hesitation, it's funny but throughout her pregnancy this friend had had a horrible time, being there for her was by turns a heartbreaking experience and sometimes frightening and sometimes I just felt angry for her with the things she was having to go through. So little Summer Olivia was already named "Tough Cookie" before she even arrived, such was her determination to survive. 

 

But the moment I got to hold Summer for the first time I just felt it, that overwhelming rush of love, that desire to protect and care for... there were no doubts, no questions, just love. 

I enjoyed every moment of my visit to Sam and Summer, even the poopy nappies, the baby sick and the crying and I can't wait to go back and spend more time with my friend and my gorgeous goddaughter. 

But the one question the visit did answer for me was that yes. I could love a child that was not my own. That just opens up a whole new parcel of questions though?  Would I be prepared to give up some of my hobbies?  Where would we put another child? Could we even afford it?  We're on the verge of being able to go on holiday as a couple, could I forego that?

But then, thinking about it, not going there would mean more free time to zip up motorways unencumbered to spend time with Sam and Summer.

Soft Play Purgatory

Recently I had my first re-experience (hmmmm is that a real word???) of soft play, you know,  those indoor playgrounds that are full of climbing frames, ball pits and slides etc. Oh good god the torture of it.  My boys are 17 and 14 so it's a very very long time since I have set foot over the treshold of one of these places and I had forgotten totally what they were like. The first thing that hit me was steam, I mean I know it was raining outside (really heavily... in fact I was at that point considering googling plans on ark creation) so I guess an element of the steam might be kids and parents coming into this hell hole slightly damp but I think also that the steam might have just been the sweat off the kids and the constant CO2 created by their open mouths as they screamed.

And scream they did!!!

We were there because my stepchildren were down visiting us during the school holidays and at 7 and 4 they are a lot younger than my boys so I am having to re-learn how to entertain small people again... not easy I can tell you, but probably good practice if we ever do achieve our aim of having a baby.

The second thing that struck me was the wall of noise.  I am wondering is tolerance of softplay venues, parks etc something you get an immunity to?  I ean when my boys were small I remember taking them to these softplay places and sitting quite happily with a book whilst they ran themselves into exhaustion and the noise never bothered me, yet here I am a few years later and it was like being locked into a room with 100 howler monkeys all screaming at the top of their lungs and it was absolutely excrutiating.  I looked around and there were all these other mums sitting quite happily chatting with each other and yet I could not even hear myself think!!!

I ended up digging into the bottom of my handbag and fortunately found some earplugs which I gratefully shoved into my ears... trust me you could still hear the screaming and shouting... and crying as little Johnny bashed some other kid or vice versa... it was just now at a reasonable dull roar.

I did have a genius thought though if the armed forces ever decide they need new methods to extract information from detainees they could always tie them to a chair and stick them in the middle of the ball pit and just let the kids have fun throwing those plastic balls at them and let the detainees endure a few hours of 100 howler monkeys... oops I mean darling children... a few hours of that and they will be begging to tell what they know.

The Tree Goes Up!

My stepchildren arrived yesterday, my husband Pie did the long journey to pick them up from their mum, we've been really looking forward to seeing them and all the mad rush to sort out the dining room has really been so that we can enjoy a family dinner on Christmas Day.

Because I'd hurt my back I was about as much use as a chocolate fireguard in setting up the tree and doing the decorations, so my role has been entirely a supervisory one. That and taking the pictures. It's only to be expected that we wouldn't be able to lay our hands on the Christmas decorations in the mountain of packing boxes... go figure. So Pie scooted off to Tesco to pick up some decorations and lights.

Bit of bonus that the decorations are already on sale and half price. kerching!

So it wasn't a huge financial burden to get some temporary ones for this year.

Elizabeth and Adam seemed to get really excited at putting up the tree with Pie, there was lots of squealing and laughter. So here we are all ready for Christmas, only a few days to go.



Benjie seemed quite unimpressed that his favourite spot in the front room had been taken by a Christmas Tree but he quickly seemed to decide that he wouldn't mind being a present and spent most of the day asleep under it.